Large language models (LLMs) excel across various tasks, but standard first-order (FO) fine-tuning demands considerable memory, significantly limiting real-world deployment. Recently, zeroth-order (ZO) optimization stood out as a promising memory-efficient training paradigm, avoiding backward passes and relying solely on forward passes for gradient estimation, making it attractive for resource-constrained scenarios. However, ZO method lags far behind FO method in both convergence speed and accuracy. To bridge the gap, we introduce a novel layer-wise divergence analysis that uncovers the distinct update pattern of FO and ZO optimization. Aiming to resemble the learning capacity of FO method from the findings, we propose \textbf{Di}vergence-driven \textbf{Z}eroth-\textbf{O}rder (\textbf{DiZO}) optimization. DiZO conducts divergence-driven layer adaptation by incorporating projections to ZO updates, generating diverse-magnitude updates precisely scaled to layer-wise individual optimization needs. Our results demonstrate that DiZO significantly reduces the needed iterations for convergence without sacrificing throughput, cutting training GPU hours by up to 48\% on various datasets. Moreover, DiZO consistently outperforms the representative ZO baselines in fine-tuning RoBERTa-large, OPT-series, and Llama-series on downstream tasks and, in some cases, even surpasses memory-intensive FO fine-tuning. Our code is released at \url{https://github.com/Skilteee/DiZO}.